So, it’s day two of Naplobomo month and honouring my commitment to post a blog everyday. I decided to post about a subject matter that has been on my mind for quite some time now. A question that me and my best friend had a conversation about not too long ago.
Can women have it all without sacrifice? I personally think women can’t have it all without sacrifice, and I come to this conclusion after being a guardian for my sister for the last five years.
This has really made question can I have it all? when I say ‘all’ I mean having a career and children. I ask this because I find it increasingly challenging to prioritise both mine and my sisters wants and needs.
I haven’t completely learned how to be selfless like my Mum was, and maybe I wont fully learn how to be selfless until I’m a Mother myself.
But one thing I have learned since becoming a guardian is sacrifice – missing out on the things I want to do, in order to make my sister happy or to support her ambitions as a young person (most of the time).
But its inevitable that there is always a push and pull factor, although I want to do everything I can to ensure my sister is happy and fulfilled. I’m young and there are many things that I want to achieve.
But at the moment I’m not in a position to have it all. There are times when I have to silently forfeit attending events or doing things I want to do, in order to make sure I support my sister in what she wants to do. This is what it means to sacrifice, yourself for the ones you love.
There are times when I will attend a work event and finish really late, which means that I wont have seen my sister all day. Then comes the guilt, feeling that I put work before my sister.
Which poses the question again can women have everything without sacrificing anything? because I know that when I’m chasing my own dreams, I don’t get to devote time to my sister the way I should.
So how will I manage when I eventually hopefully have children and a career. I think about the women who have no support who have to earn and look after their children as well.
Will I choose to climb up the career ladder, putting the home second or will I sacrifice the career to be with my children as my Mum did? But surely something has got to give, or can you have both equally without sacrifice?